Week 11 Post #2

*Think about the filters you use to eliminate people from consideration as potential romantic partners. What characteristics or behaviors lead you to judge others as unattractive? Does Duck's theory make sense to you? Have you ever eliminated someone by using a sociological or pre-interaction cue only to reconsider them based on interaction and cognitive cues?

After reading this section of the chapter, I realized I have used all the filters to eliminate potential romantic partners. Physical proximity is a huge one for me, I have not had success in long distance relationships and it seems more realistic to be with someone who lives in the same area. I have also used the incidental cues (environment, work/life style), preinteraction cues (nonverbal impressions), interactions (lack of eye contact, facial expressions), and cognitive cues (shared values and attitudes).

For me, the cognitive cues are the most important filter. If I meet someone whose values are in opposition of mine, or negative in some way, I am simply not attracted to the person. I think differences are good, but for instance, if I met someone who had a positive attitude toward smoking, I wouldn’t be with the person! ☺ Other characteristics that lead me to judge others as unattractive are no sense of humor, awkward conversations or nonverbal behavior, and little confidence.

I think as we date more, or experience people more, we kind of figure out what we are attracted to and what “works” for us. Duck’s theory makes a lot of sense to me- the reasons he lists are very true aspects in which we filter when looking for potential partners. I think there must have been a time when I reconsidered a person based on their interaction or cognitive cues. Sometimes I’ll gain a first impression, and be completely blown away by a person’s ideas, values, or attitude.

Have a great weekend! ☺